BLOGPOST – Let’s continue talking to the deeper aspects of our souls that do not get addressed. One of my big wake up calls was when I got myself copies of Dr Henry Mclouds ‘Boundaries’. It was so touching, you really need to look him up, even if its just on YouTube. He was talking about many different situations where people use us and think they can keep taking advantage of our time and if we do not respond quickly or regularly then they start playing victim on us.
With the launch of mobile phones and social media, we have the ability to send messages or talk to people wherever they are and whenever we want too. What we have forgotten is, this has become an intrusive invasion of our privacy, a certain degree. If someone does not answer your call immediately, its not because they want to ignore you or hate you, its possibly they could be busy with someone else, sleeping, taking time off, driving, busy with a client, their phone can be on silent or even be in a busy place where they cannot hear the phone ringing like a shopping centre.
The problem we find today is, the person who hardly ever looks at their phones or answer their calls, is usually the one who wants you to be available immediately should they call you. Do not allow others with strong personalities to control you. People who raise their voice use it to get their way, this is the only way they know. No one should control anyone, we are here to love and respect each other. No one is another ones possession. Never, ever.
We have grown up with a bunch of tech items and do not have a sense of rules or etiquette at all. I grew up without a screen, a television and it was not allowed because of the possible evil it might contain. Yes, you are told what to watch and when. Today the TV is not popular any more, even the ultra Orthodox Jews are suffering with members using cellphones, our TVs are now in our pocket and we spend more hours per day watching them, waiting for others to talk to us.
We are not talking about whether a cellphone is right or wrong. Its plastic, metal, silver and wires put together to serve a multi-purpose in our lives. It has replaced a landline phone, calculator, calender, diary, walkie talkie, computer, camera, fax machine, clock, pedometer, GPS, file and document storage, bible, television so us calling is a phone is actually limiting the understanding of its functionality. It should be called a multi-functional pocket computer.
We now understand that some people are using it for business purposes, for talking to partners and organising their busy life schedules. We can waste a lot of time on it or not prioritise our time with it. Its almost as if we don’t want to be bored any more. We sit in restaurants, in company with friends and family and some of them, including us are stuck in another universe. Its rude, its showing we are disconnected from the company and that’s why when certain people come and visit I tell them to put their mobile phones on the kitchen table while we are sitting together having fellowship. If you are to answer the phone or make a call, you will leave the room and not make any sounds that will make us aware of your disconnection. It is a disconnect that you have chosen, whether good or bad, that’s for you to decide, but think of it this way. If people come know on your house door random parts of the day or night, do you open the door and allow them in and entertain them? So why do you do that with the phone?
A lot of pressure is placed on people in the workplace. When your boss calls you, you respond immediately. You treat it like an emergency. There are very few emergencies in life and you need to know that, you need to let others know that they only call when its an emergency. I am not talking about your client that is phoning you for business during business hours. I told my wife that I do not like her children calling during office hours and telling her about their problems and issues, that they should wait for her off time when she is no longer focused on her business, its then more appropriate.
For this reason I like text, WhatsApp and Telegram. Its a silent Gentleman service. You have something on your mind, you want to let someone know about it, you send them a message and when they have time, they get the message. Its not always an emergency. Wealthy people are the ones who take the longest to respond to their messages, not because they want to look important, its because they prioritise their time. They know that time well managed is more important than all the money in the world. No one can buy time. Its not for sale, its for proper use and management.
When my wife and I are not together, we send each other plenty of voice notes, we share thoughts with each other and late afternoon when we have the time available, we can appreciate each others voices. Its recorded. You do not need others attention 24/7. Others will appreciate when you respect their time.
When we look back at our lives, its like a flash, like a moment in the past. We can relive moments in our minds, memories, photos and videos if we have. Now more than ever we can save moments. There is nothing like the present. The present is called the present because its the gift of now, today. Some of us are living in the future and the past and have no joy in the now.
Jesus (Yeshua) mentioned 3 things that we should be doing NOW:
Not sit and worry, but get up and go, we want answers so we ask, we don’t get answers so we seek, we come to doors and knock. The doors get opened up and we get the answers. Answers are treasures behind those doors. Answers give us peace until we start searching again, new questions keep coming up. Solomon wanted Wisdom. He got no direct download, he surrounded himself with wise men and questioned them day and night. Wisdom is applied knowledge. Many people seek knowledge. Wisdom is applied knowledge. Knowledge is theory. Theory is important, but the test comes to see if we know how to apply it. Sometimes the same situation keeps popping up in our lives, we keep responding the same way, failing the same test over and over. I remember in school there was a boy who failed his class twice. He was not stupid, he was stubborn. He then left school.
Are you making the same mistakes over and over again, you are failing the grade. You want to do it your way, the Ego Way. My way. There is a hymn that says: Have thy own way Lord, have thy own way. Its easy to sing these words, but not easy to practice letting go. When you go and pray, its us telling God, here is my way, I want my way. We have lists and lists of what we want and when we want them by. If we pray 30 minutes a day, all we need is one sentence: Thy Will be done… and listen for the other 29 minutes and 53 seconds.
Listen? Yes David talks about meditate. The word meditate in the bible is mentioned several times, its a process of waiting, clearing our own minds, egos and wills out and allowing the still small voice of God to speak to us. We are never quiet, we don’t want to be quiet, we are fighting and reasoning all the time, asking questions, never ever waiting for the answer and maybe we get an answer, we start asking more questions. Never quiet.
As a child my parents taught us to pray. We were taught to talk, They wanted us to talk. God wants us to talk to him, but deep inside he wants a two way conversation.A thankful person is someone who counts their blessings, they re people who smile a lot and others want to be around them. Whenever you are grumbling, start writing down your blessings. I got to school and we were taught the Lords prayer. A very intense prayer, the order of which is important.
The Western people are flooded with information all the time, our religion is information and knowing more, talking more, but seldom learning to have a calm Spirit. We spoke in the previous letter about the Comforter which Jesus promised. The same Comforter is speaking years earlier by saying: Be quiet and know that I am God. Be quiet! Please be quiet. Some of our personalities do not get to that place. We want everything to be perfect, we want everyone to treat us perfectly but perfect in the humans mind is SQUARE. Look at all the beautiful mountains, rives and trees out there? Perfect? Yes. Symmetrical? NO.
There is a verse that shows how different man’s perfection is to Gods perfection. My thoughts are not your thoughts and as high as the heaven is above the earth, are my thoughts different to your thoughts. Just because we are created in Gods image, doesn’t mean that our minds and thoughts haven’t drifted far from him.
I like to think of two people, a man and a lady who meet. There is some kind of attraction between the two, but only after some discussion there will be a deeper connection or hardly any connection. Sometimes one party does all the talking. I am surprised to see how much guys like to talk, not letting the lady get a word in edgeways. One way conversations are frustrating to say the least. Once the two people have gotten to hear each others highest values, and decide to see each other several times again, both parties find what the other loves to receive. They also get to know what the other one hates, dislikes and try to avoid them. Been in a relationship comes with sacrifice. All relationships come with sacrifice, and if there is no sacrifice on both sides, then one party is making all the sacrifice and the other not.
Of the thousands of people I communicated with in my full time ministry, 8 out of 10 people were partly or fully missing the purpose of their relationships. When a minister, elder, worker visit a married couple for dinner, the couple will put their best behaviour forward for those few hours, but when staying over a few days or weeks, the true status of the relationship becomes apparent. The years of a couple been together, often with unresolved issues makes people believe that its okay to live in hell on earth to get to Heaven one day, little do they realize that Jesus said that the Kingdom of Heaven (MUST) be in you. Living life is not just a spiritual journey, its a physical journey and these two cannot be disconnected.
I asked a Pastor the other day what tree he thought that the Tree of knowledge of good and evil was: His answer was a question: Do you not think it was a tree figuratively speaking? I was surprised at his answer, to which I answered: Then Sin must also be figurative?
There are many thoughts but I will continue next time. Gods people are not judges, they are loving children. The only one we ought to judge is ourselves and if we measure up to the standard of Christ. He is the only Judge (Read Matthew 7-3) but once you have judged yourself, start working on the things you have identified are wrong and stop punishing yourself over and over again for the past. Learn the lesson and move on with joy and gladness. There is no better person to be in company with than a glad and thankful person and a person who learns and asks questions without guile.